estara: (Default)
Especially since [ profile] salimbol asked me about it quite a while back AND I can combine it with the announcement that my internet will be spotty to non-existent until Friday because I'm visiting my parents who are taking care of my little niece (whom I haven't seen since Christmas, really). I had a doctor's appointment for a check-up today, so I drove back down to my flat - which does have internet ^^. Anyway, about my mum:

I saw her at Easter for a few days, a week after she came out of that follow-up rehab hospital near the Chiemsee (she’d been there for three weeks). She has adjusted much more to having lost her breast and I had the feeling her fears for her possible future were put into perspective by meeting so many people worse off than her. She also really liked most of the therapists at the hospital.

She still has twinges of pain when her new bra and the pseudo breast get near the scar where the drainage tube came out – I remember that being the case with my gall bladder removal, too.

She can’t raise her arm there as high as she used to, but she’s working on it.

In honour of my visit she started making a salad for grilling… I’m not sure if that was such a good idea. I occasionally remember to ask if I should assist her, but the balance between not wanting to give the impression I think she’s enfeebled and having a sense of when she would welcome assistance are tough for me to judge. I always did better with clear requests.

She even wanted me to come along shopping in Nuremberg, so we did that on Tuesday after Easter, but I think that was a bit too much so soon – she hardly tried on any clothes and we went back by train to Pleinfeld a few hours earlier than we would have done before.

Later she mentioned she might have tried on some trousers “but I didn’t want to make you impatient” – it is understood that I don’t like going shopping and never have, so after asking me to come along and maybe assist her, that’s a bit of a weak argument.

She is actively looking around for further physical therapy or self-help groups and stuff. She’s not so happy that the doctor in her local hospital doesn’t seem to have much of an idea of what’s on offer there, so we looked on the internet and found some places.

If all else fails, she can always go to Nuremberg again, that’s where they operated on her at the breast centre and they are MUCH better organised regarding after care. She’d just like it to be local, if possible.

Currently she has full movement back in her arm, but what with my niece growing apace and my mum and dad not being any younger, she no longer carries her so easily or swings her around. This is something Leonie will have to get used to, heh. She still isn't happy with her short-term memory and thinks the medication is the cause (I'm not so sure, I think it started quite a few years ago). Her hair is doing fine, which is good.

She does her physical therapy stuff locally and that seems to be satisfactory, too.
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Well, it's one and a half weeks since her surgery now, and she's been home since last Tuesday.

I visited my dad last Saturday (pretty lost and very quiet alone in the big house, visiting his friends at the pub too much - basically I think he's drinking too much wine, but that's a whole other topic) and then the two of us drove up to Nuremberg hospital's special breast cancer unit recovery rooms - which are housed in a new addition built in 2002 and are two-person rooms with beautiful appointments (for a hospital), they even have en-suite bathrooms (sink and toilets for EACH of the occupants with HEATED towel rails, heh).

Mum had sounded more like herself on each consecutive phone call and so she came across when we saw her - like herself but easily tired. Usually she wants to sit in a chair the whole visit through - she didn't do that this time, I bet because the pull from the removed breast on her neck muscles was quite a strain (it still is, but much better than last Saturday, according to her last phone call today). She showed me her scar which looked pretty good (I was comparing it to my gall bladder removal experience), but obviously her right breast is gone. They won't have to take out the stitches as they used material that will be absorbed by the body.

Her major complaint today was that it really hurts ("gives me some twinges") when she gets up after a good night's sleep (which she says she has). She gets neckaches from the irregular weight distribution still and is impatiently waiting for this Thursday, when she'll get the special bra and silicone pad replacement of exactly the same weight as her lost breast - although she's aware it won't be completely painfree, connecting with the scar tissue.

Dad has been very helpful (I think he really needs her as a purpose, he doesn't seem to manage to find one on his own) and she's been organising her regular cleaning lady to come more often and do more than before. She is very relieved to be home, but - while in hospital she was amazed at how much she could already do and how high she could lift her arm - now that she's in her own well-known surroundings she realizes how many things she CAN'T do now.

Today she had her first kafeeklatsch - much shorter than usual, only two and a half hours, and no self-made cake, but storebought (the horror! - but she's much more pragmatic about this than I would usually have expected) with my dad pouring the coffee to two old friendly couples. But from how short she kept our conversation (only 20 minutes and stopped from her side) I think that was as much as she can handle right now.

She hasn't even given a thought to what day of this holiday week I should visit (and help out with things she doesn't want to ask the cleaning lady or my dad), which is very unlike her, so I'd say she's on the mend but is realising that it will take longer than it has done with previous surgeries.

I told her Elizabeth Wein plus daughter would be running for her, too, and she was amused.
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I'm doing this on the supposition (to be proved) that I'll have seen a whole lot of old stuff - if I can recognise the English names, as most of this I would have seen when German TV only had three channels, at a time where we watched movies all the way through even if we didn't like them - as a family... hmm well, mostly with my Dad ^^. Mom reading or knitting something, my brother doing whatever.

huge list of movies )
Yes, I definitely can see two periods - films seen with my parents on the tv and then in the late 80s to the late 90s movies I actually watched in the cinema. I haven't gone in years - my tastes have changed and if I wanted to watch an English language movie I'd get a DVD these days, not go to the cinema where I get a German translation. But mostly when I watch something I watch anime, heh.

Also: I visited my mum yesterday, she's doing quite well and showed me her scar (which looks really good to me, but she does say that it's a total change not having the weight of her breast there - she really needs to do training to carry the weight equally and not get a krick in her neck).
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Update on my mother's operation - and may I say I'm sitting here with a wet shimmer in my eyes from all the well-wishing. Thank you so much, whether we have had a lot of contact or not here on the internet, for thinking of her. Thank you also to Amy and her regular monthly prayer offerings!

Kai, my brother, had come late in the evening yesterday, to take my parents to the big breast centre in Nuremberg hospital (certified by all kinds of institutions and with a large number of these operations per year; a place even her local specialist had encouraged my mum to go to) as she was to check in around 6 a.m - they were early which is always a relief to my mum's Prussian genes.

There was a bit of hurry as the lady who got the second bed in the two-bed-room actually was hurried into pre-op and taken there forthwith, but while mum had to hurry to unpack, etc. then there was suddenly quite a bit of a wait and they told her it would likely take until 11 a.m. until she got into the op theatre.

So she sent dad and Kai back home (which is where I was chewing the furniture a bit, because mum will always put up a brave face to make it easy on us - I know my dad wouldn't be useful and they only had taken one car, but Kai could have sent dad home in the car and taken a taxi to the train station - and I rued the fact I hadn't asked for time off after all, they're pretty good with that at my school if you can make it clear why it's necessary), but Kai says she was still really tired from lack of sleep the night before and the early trip, so she was on the verge of sleeping for a bit anyway.

They returned in the afternoon when she was waking up from surgery and it seems to have gone as well as it could have gone - they did take off the right breast, and the sentinel lymph node, which has shown no sign of cancer. So the current verdict is that they are pretty hopeful of having gotten all the malignant matter out at once.

She'll still have to be checked for bone cancer cells I believe, but no awful surprises in this operation.

Again, thank you all SO MUCH for your good wishes and prayers! I love you, my dears! *hug-in-thought*

Addendum: Kai has advised me that she was much too groggy to be aware for much, and that I should wait until tomorrow to phone, and I haven't spoken to her yet. I think I'll phone just for a very short while, so she knows I'm thinking of her.

ETA2: I spoke with her for about five minutes and she's still pretty groggy, but I told her of all the well wishing from as far as the US and New Zealand, and she was a bit amused/surprised/grateful/embarrassed about it. She wants to sleep mostly, so I tried to be short and loving.
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A couple of weeks back (literally) she found out she has breast cancer. This Wednesday is the initial big operation - most likely a full removal. That doesn't mean they have any idea yet whether the cancer hasn't spread...

She's 76 now, and is more worried about what might happen to her hair if she has to have chemo. I'd like her to come out of the op okay first of all, and then have the doctors not find any more cancer.

Any good wishes would be very much appreciated. Thank you, my dears.
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If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.
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Just came across this in link-hopping from friend's blog to blog - you may have seen it already, because it was uploaded in September 2010, but if you haven't and you love 2d animation, emotional relationships and dance - well then you really need to see this now ^^. And I think the song is perfect, too, although it wasn't written specifically for this animation but rather the underlying concept.

The small excerpt from a documentary about the making of this collaboration doesn't take anything away from the beauty of it, it's just a fascinating insight into the process of making it.
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A Healthy, Content and Happy New Year to one and all!
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I hope to find time for a thankful post  after Christmas - I certainly didn't manage to before, heh - what with school and setting up my new PC (yay!).

May all of you have a calm, fairly stress-free Christmas and if you are off-line until after the New Year, I'd like to wish you a healthy New Year as well!

As Germany has the actual celebration on Christmas Eve, culminating in Midnight Mass for us Catholics, I'm off to reach my parents - hopefully: we have icy rain and the remains of four weeks of intermittent snowfall. I do travel a well-used road, though.

I should be back before the 30th, we shall see.
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As she says in the comment I'll be linking here directly - someone needs to keep a record of this intention and impression. I want to post this so I remember it when people talk about ebooks and their pros and cons. And because I'm afraid she's right.

It’s like watching the Alexandrine Library burn…that everything they created is being threatened by, ironically, the pace of progress, and a world that regarded their work as ‘pulp’…and therefore not to be preserved. Here we have people finally making college courses out of the field—teaching it alongside the development of technology—but they’re having no really fast effect on the preservation of the field, which is decaying at the rate of pulp paper, being flooded in basements, thrown away by heirs who never approved of ‘that stuff’…or just mouldering away unrecorded, lost. Link
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Okay, I don't think all that many people expect a post from this LJ so I don't even know if I'll get any results, but I am curious (I found it interesting that there were anon/anonymous posters on the windows of the two mentioned LJ friends ^^)

Please tell me how I come across on the internet ^^
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Sandra McDonald's periodic table of women in science fiction...annotated

Bold the women by whom you own books
Italicize those by whom you've read something of (short stories count)(I've also counted non-fiction, or works edited by the individual))
Star those of whom you've never heard

... )
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Okay so maybe I'm the only one who didn't know this yet, but Diane Duane is working on having the books whose rights have reverted to her available as ebooks. The first two of the out-of-print Middle Kingdom/Tale of the Five series Door into Fire and Door into Shadows are available via Smashwords or her site which links to for only $3.

She's working on bringing out the third one (that the Meisha Merlin omnibus didn't collect, but I bought via the Corgi edition in the 80s), Door into Sunset (which does add a satisfying end-for-now to the trilogy, no real solution to Herewiss power dilemma as this series was projected to have more books), as well. I so wish she had the time and money - or maybe BAEN to give her a contract - to finish that series. Beautiful new covers, too. These books had understated and also starcrossed love with same sex, opposite sex and alien sex partners in a polyamorous relationship in the 80s!! AND a save-the-world plot which worked!!! It is the most excellent crack fantasy epic (with a value of crack=Kaori Yuki).

At the moment she also offers A  Wind from the South completely for free - a book that should have become the start of a series as well.

Addendum: You can tip her via Paypal if you liked A Wind From The South, or you could buy it in print from
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Googlism for: estara

estara is committed to the highest degree of privacy of visitors to our site
estara is developing next generation interactive live voice applications for ebusiness that will revolutionize the way consumers shop on the web
estara is available for performances throughout the world for
estara is that wisdom

... )
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Ten Top Trivia Tips about Estara!

  1. Estara can't drink - she absorbs water from her surroundings by osmosis!
  2. If you cut Estara in half and count the number of seeds inside, you will know how many children you are going to have.
  3. Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are Estara!
  4. Estara is the smallest of Jupiter's many moons.
  5. It takes 8 minutes for light to travel from the Sun's surface to Estara.
  6. The porpoise is second to Estara as the most intelligent animal on the planet.
  7. Plato believed that the souls of melancholy people would be reincarnated into Estara!
  8. The fingerprints of Estara are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene!
  9. The only planet that rotates on its side is Estara!
  10. Without Estara, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand!
I am interested in - do tell me about
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Not being a paid account I can't make a poll - not that many people read me anyway, heh, but I am quite proud to have read quite a lot of books and short stories this year, even though I have troubles with my right cornea. I loved it when meganbmoore did it last year, so this year I wanted to do it for myself (and see if I read much less... looking at the list I can't think I did, actually). Manga/manhwa are not included.

The overwhelming majority of these were new reads and ebooks. We have fantasy, science fiction, non-fiction, romance of various versions, erotic romances of the straight and m/m variety as well as menage.The books are listed according to grade, from best to worst (A+,A- to D and DNF):

cut for length )
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In honour of Sharon Lee's idea of making June 23rd Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer's Day, I'd like to give tribute to the amazing female sf&f writers I have increasingly discovered since the 90s and especially the ones I've discovered and had contact with in the last two years (Aside: all hail the internet!).

Elizabeth Wein )

You know, I can see I won't be able to cover all the ladies today, so I'll be turning this into a series as time permits.

~ originally posted at
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What with my eye trouble in the last two years I feel with fellow people in trouble quite a bit. My eyes are hopefully slightly getting better and I'm taking steps to help that along, but the economy bites us all, healthy or not. Catherine Valente has gotten into trouble (and was linked by Scalzi and Gaiman which has helped enormously), but there are still great offers at the auction site implemented for her [ profile] adoptingcat.

It seems Vera Nazarian whom we helped somewhat last winter is in some trouble again (considering the situation with her house and mother and her own health, I'm not really surprised). This is the lady who runs Norilana Books ( ), which publishes lovely fantasy, as well as a Hugo-Nominated novealla writer. If you have the money, she's selling an artwork of hers here:
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Basically a day after I finished the first book, the second one arrived and I can see now why Sherwood wrote on her LJ that this was actually one big book. It starts right after the end of the first one (so no explanations for readers who come in later, which I actually prefer in my series books).

Sasha remains cautious and the hero keeps kicking himself (deservedly) for screwing up by keeping too many secrets when he met her. Not being a villain he lets her go (but sets one of his trusted friends to track and help her).
Twice a Prince (Sasharia En Garde)

I love the fact that the friend/spy loses her soon after, due to weather and not any special skills by Sasha. I love it when she loses her way out of inexperience, is happy to be rescued from a storm at a military camp of the king and leaves in the morning without ever thinking about the consequences of a report about her showing up (she does use a false name, but her few treasures clearly show the connection to the old royal house). The villainous usurper also does not want to kill the heroine in this one (yay!), he wants her to marry his son and continues to want this (and to try to send his son to find her and woo her, as the prince's supposedly a real ladies' man).
... )
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How rare and delightful: two excellent books read in two days (and not just rare because my eye trouble isn't over yet, only lying low for a while). And they're very different too, so they don't take away from each other.

Once a Princess (Sasharia En Garde)

Once a Princess - now out in print - is part of Smith's overarching Satorias-deles world and set in a time which previous books have already touched on (although I don't think there were any familiar faces so far, the one truly mysterious group showing up obviously has ties to characters we already know, but I haven't read about them yet), which makes certain references to military training or the inheritance of magic powers much easier to understand (I do have a feeling that the situation and flair of the hero had quite a bit similarity to Vidanric of Crown Duel, but as we get pov from him as well it's not as frustrating for the reader as it was then).
... )

April 2017

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